Everyone has a time of their own, which may be ordinary, complex, gentle, or heavy. During this time, we have experienced many things and thought about many problems, but in the hustle and bustle of the world, we have lost our original selves. The passage of life is like a drop of water wearing away a stone. It seems insignificant, but it changes us silently.
Feng Jin, who used to be, may be the same as each of us. She had dreams, expectations, and once looked forward to some kind of light in the future to illuminate her life. However, as time went by, she found that those original hot hopes had long cooled down in the flow of years, turned into ashes, and became a past that could no longer be pursued.
Feng Jin is a very ordinary person. It can even be said that she is not much different from most people. She lives in a city that is not prosperous but not quiet, and shuttles between work and home every day. She often stands in the crowd, looking at the strange faces around her, but feels that her existence seems meaningless. Every day’s time slips away quietly like flowing water, and everything is like a short moment, after which nothing is left.
Perhaps, Feng Jin’s story is the story of each of us. Who has not experienced those confusions, loneliness and helplessness in life? Who has not had a time in life when he wanted to give up, or even thought about disappearing in this big world, to find a corner where he would no longer be disturbed? Life is never easy. It is like an endless journey. There will always be some tiring moments, as if every step is sharpening our souls.
We are always used to putting ourselves in a less conspicuous position, silently bearing all the pressures of life. In many cases, we will fall into a state of contentment with the status quo, no longer have too much desire for the future, but just keep repeating those daily routines that have long lost their color. Perhaps it is because we gradually get used to this lifestyle, or perhaps it is because we are afraid of facing the uncertainty brought by change.
However, Feng Jin’s life is not unchanged. At least in her heart, there was a faint hope and a sense of longing for her future. However, these hopes gradually dissipated in the boundless reality as time passed. Feng Jin began to realize that she could no longer obtain any power of change from the outside world. The only thing she could rely on was her inner tenacity and courage.
For her, change is not only external, but more of an inner awakening. She had spent countless lonely nights quietly thinking about what she really wanted and what kind of person she was. Those questions were like heavy stones, pressing on her heart, making her feel heavy every time she breathed. She had no answer, until one day, she finally realized that the answer might not be important, what was important was that she could learn to live in peace with her heart.
There are no so-called standard answers to many things in life, and the meaning of life is not a gift that can be given by the outside world. It is often hidden in every tiny decision we make and in every ordinary day of our lives. Maybe you are rushing on the road for an unimportant date today, and waiting in loneliness for a boring party tomorrow. However, in these trivial moments, what you ignore is precisely your true feelings and inner voice.
Feng Jin has also fallen into such confusion. She would sit in front of the window in the dead of night, listening to the wind outside, wondering whether she would have different experiences in her life, and whether she would meet her lost self at a certain corner. But she knew that this idea was nothing but an empty fantasy, and life would not change anything because of our momentary remorse. Feng Jin gradually realized that the only one who could really make herself go further was always herself.
Everyone has his own road, which may be tortuous, flat, bumpy, or smooth. However, it is this road that makes our life. Feng Jin gradually learned not to complain about the world, she began to accept her imperfect reality, and learned to find her own light in the triviality and ordinariness of every day.
She understood that there is never an ultimate goal in life, and no one can achieve a so-called “ideal state” once and for all. What we can do is perhaps just take every step of the present and cherish every moment in front of us, no matter how ordinary and plain these moments seem. Feng Jin realized that she might not be able to change the whole world, but she could change her heart, and she could make her state of mind more broad and peaceful.
“You are your own biggest enemy.” Feng Jin remembered this sentence deeply at a certain moment. In her life, nothing can determine her fate more than herself, and nothing can change her world more than herself. She no longer relies on others, and begins to face all the confusion and challenges alone, and learns to let go of those insignificant anxieties and fears.
In the end, Feng Jin’s state of mind began to gradually calm down. She no longer blindly pursues anything, nor is she eager to find the meaning of her life. She began to learn to slow down, feel the subtleties of life in her busy daily life, learn to treat every day with a normal heart, and accept everything about herself.
Life may be like this. It will not change because of the direction we desire. It will only quietly guide us to the future when we are inadvertently. Feng Jin understood this, and she no longer obsessed with external success and failure, but learned to find her own peace and satisfaction in her heart.
So, on that bright afternoon, Feng Jin walked into the crowd with a smile. Although there was no stunning brilliance, she already had a peace of her own in her heart.